Facebook

May 2008. The day I opened a Facebook account. I've been a part of this social networking site for 5 years now. In those 5 years, I've come to a conclusion about Facebook. That conclusion is simple and to be honest we all probably know it, but we still persist to visit this site... and that conclusion is: it is a waste of time.

For the first two years I had Facebook, I was what you would call a Facebook addict. I'd come home, have a shower, get changed, have a little munch and then I'd do it. I'd open my laptop. I'd open up Internet Explorer. I would find my fingers already typing "f a c ..." Whilst that was happening, I'd already be automatically signed into MSN Messenger (who remembers those days?).  I mean I was only 14, when social interaction was the pinnacle of life, but looking back I realise how much time I wasted on that site. 

Recently I was out with a couple of my work buddies, we were all just jamming and having a good time. I'd taken a few pictures of the night on my phone and I had taken more from previous nights out, so my mate asked me to send them to him. (For the purpose of this post let's call him Bob) So I told him I'll send it to him on Whatsapp, but because there was quite a few of us, I asked if it would be easier to put them up on Facebook and everyone could save it off there. And that's when he said it. "I don't have Facebook." I honestly thought to myself, how is it possible that someone cannot have Facebook. I mean this one website connects so many people. It's a way to avoid giving your number to people but still keep in contact with them. So I asked him why, I mean Bob's a friendly guy, everyone he meets instantly likes him, so why would he not have Facebook? 

Once Bob's had a bit to drink, the things that come out his mouth make so much sense, what he says is so real. Let me summarise what he told me.  The thing about your Facebook profile is: it's not really you. People work so hard to compile a profile, a way in which people can judge you as a person. Everything you do on there is so people will think of you in a certain way, you're building your profile up in a way that will give you the most likes. You can present 5 minutes of your life on there, and that's how people will see you, how people think you are, when in actual fact it's no where near close. What he said really made so much sense, and it's true. 

So I thought I'd share some things about Facebook that ANNOY me to an extent that I hardly post on it anymore. 

Before I start I just want to point out that anything I'm going to write is not aimed at anyone, it's just things I have noticed in general. 

• TOO MUCH LOVE: "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" "i love you so muchhhh ♥♥" "you're my bestie forever! ♥" I don't think I'm alone when I say this PISSES me off. Like, it's cool if you love someone and you're close to them, but trust me, your friend's list of over 700 people don't want to know. I mean, once or twice is tolerable, but when it's a daily thing... please jump off a bridge and don't look back. I hate PDA (public displays of affection). You know those times when you're walking down the street but you can't get past because couples are licking each other's faces off and hogging the whole street by engaging in this activity? I hate that. So you best believe I don't appreciate the word form of that bombarding my news feed. I'm not against showing love, personally I think that's one of the best things a human can do. But there's a level. You can say it's none of my business, but when those posts shows up on my news feed, it is my business and it makes me cringe. Why can't you message someone that? Why do you feel the need to let the whole world know? (I'm going to sound like the grinch or something after this, but it's something I need to point out before I go on to my next point.)
• FAKENESS: This is funny because it's usually the people I've mentioned above that are fake. They go on and on and on about how much they love each other in those posts, and in reality they'll be the same people bitching away about each other. It irritates me because it's so unnecessary. Why would you preach about how much someone is your "bestie" and how you'll always have their back, when you fully well know you really and truly don't like that person. You know what, I'm going to stop myself there, I can write about fake friends on another post. 
• ATTENTION SEEKERS: I have two words for you lot: electricute yourself. I just don't get it... why why why do you do this?! I'm not being sexist, but so far regarding everything i've mentioned females are the main culprit, and they definitely attention seek like no tomorrow. There's many ways they do this, and usually it's because they thrive off (male) attention and they see this as a way to get it. Firstly, the statuses that read:  "nobody talk to me!!" "Leave me alone!" "No one holla me" etc. They do it fully well knowing they're going to get comments with people asking them what's up. I mean if you really didn't want people talking to you, the last thing you would do is make it a status, and if people did message you, all you have to say is you are busy or something. Why do you have to go through all that to get one person's attention. You piss me off. Then you get the peak situation when no one comments on your status, although I feel sorry for you, you deserve it. Then there's the girls that post pictures of themselves with the caption reading "i'm so ugly :(" Someone hold me back! If you're so ugly I beg you remove the picture and your life. They do it just to get guys to comment telling them how beautiful they are.  A guy needs to comment on their pictures saying "I agree, after looking at you I want to marry shrek, and I ain't even gay." If you need to do that to get a guy to call you beautiful, you need to re-evaluate your life. You don't need to write that on a picture of you, go out and talk to the guy, smile at him and have him call you beautiful because of that, not because of a caption. Then you've got those people that post statuses revealing chunks of their lives. This one is just stupid, I can't even comprehend why people do this. Why are you going to expose your PERSONAL problems out like that. Really and truly, the people who care should already know, why do you feel the need to tell everyone? If you broadcast things like that, I can assure you 9 times out of 10, people are going to be glad you have these problems. Just keep yourself to yourself, you don't need to tell the world, tell the people you care about. I'm going to end this one here or this post will be never-ending. 
• RELATIONSHIP DRAMA: I don't want to be one to state the obvious, but Facebook isn't the one if you're in a relationship. All it's going to do is cause problems. You're girl's going to get guys commenting on her posts, pictures, statuses and you're just going to get mad at her and not trust her. If a girl puts an 'x' on your man's wall, all hell will break loose! It's not even that, people will have a clear insight of your relationship and talk about it, things from your past can easily be brought up on there, and to be honest, it's easier to avoid it altogether. Also, you'll be making life easier for us regular folk that mind our own business. There's nothing worse than when there's a new couple and all they do is post statuses about each other and write 100 posts on each others walls everyday about how in love they are. That shit gets annoying. That shit gets even more annoying when you break up after two weeks, and post statuses about how heartbroken you are, and post links to a bunch of ne-yo songs. Remove yourself from this planet please. 
• DRUNK STATUSES: The way I feel to backhand people that post statuses about how drunk they are. Are you telling me you typed your email and password without any problems but in your status you're like : "im soo tipsdyyyy sikkn niteeed outr wihn my ghirlsss xxyx" Ok, fair enough, you might have your login and password automatically saved, but are you telling me that your typing deteriorates to that level when your just tipsy? I don't even want to see how you type when you're drunk. I've been tipsy, and I can tell you for a fact you can type better than that, and I'm not the only person that can vouch for that. Personally, I think you are a liar, you probably had a glass of WKD and you're trying to get attention, trying to show people you're "hard" because you drink. Don't do it, don't try and be someone you're not. You don't need the couple likes you'll get off that status. 
• INDIRECT STATUSES: I have no respect for you. You are a pussy. Grow up. Tell the person if you hate them. Or pipe the fuck down. Real people sort problems out. 
• FAKE ACCOUNTS: I don't get what you're trying to achieve. If there's an account of a model looking girl with 20 male friends, we all know it's fake. Except for the males that fail to see it due to the amount of the girl's body they can see. Dear fake account holders, please walk outside with a mask of the picture on your profile and make those friends in real life and see how far you get -_-
• NUMBER OF FRIENDS: Most people have over at least 300 friends. But honestly how many do you know? I'm not even going to lie, I dont talk to most of the people on my friends list on a day to day basis.  A handful of them are people I've never met but I've just seen around. It's crazy how we let all these people into our personal lives without really knowing them. If we saw a person from our friend's list on the street, we probably wouldn't even acknowledge them, but according to this site we are "friends." A thing that pisses me off is how people compete to have the most friends. I WANT TO SLAP YOU TO THE MOON. Alright cool, you've got 1069 friends (immature using the 69 yeah ahaha) but how many do you actually talk to in real life? How many of them ask you how you are with the genuine intent of knowing the truth. You're not a winner if you've got the most friends on Facebook  You're a winner, if you've got a couple of friends that will put their life on the line for you. 
• NOTIFICATIONS: I will cry if I get another notification for: a game invite, a post in a group that you added me into without my permission, a tag in a photo that has nothing to do with me or your latest freestyle over a drake song. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Facebook causes trouble. I've seen friendships breakdown because person A saw an inbox message person B sent to person C about them. (Although, in a way it's good you got to see their true colours.) I've seen relationships break down because of the paranoia caused. Here's a little advice from a girl who doesn't know anything. Keep yourself to yourself. Have Facebook, but for the fun aspect of it, have it to enjoy pictures with your mates, the new songs you like. Don't use it to declare your love for someone, to talk about other people, to make indirect statuses. As for me, you can never tell who my best friends are (not friends, BEST friends) from looking at my Facebook, I literally think you can only guess about two. If you looked at my phone you can see who I actually love, who actually means something to me. That sort of thing should be private, because that way no one can interfere and break down those relationships, there's no source for unnecessary drama. For a year now I haven't added anyone on Facebook, in that past year I have made amazing friends, and I know they are for life, and those friends, well let's just Facebook is a myth to us.

Yours truly 

Kavena